Birthday Blues

One of James Taylor's (JT) hits...

"Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight"

Do me wrong, do me right. Tell me lies but hold me tight.
Save your good-byes for the morning light, but don't let me be lonely tonight.

Say goodbye and say hello. Sure enough good to see you, but it's time to go.
Don't say yes but please don't say no, I don't want to be lonely tonight.

Go away then, damn you, go on and do as you please,
You ain't gonna see me getting down on my knees.
I'm undecided, and your heart's been divided, you've been turning my world upside down.

Do me wrong, do me right, right now, baby. Go on and tell me lies but hold me tight.
Save your good-byes for the morning light, morning light,
but don't let me be lonely tonight.
I don't want to be lonely tonight, no, no, I don't want to be lonely tonight.

I don't want to be lonely tonight.

Sulked and Soaked

Currently, I am listening to Carole King’s You’ve Got a Friend.  What I have is the version that she sang in a concert that at latter part of the song, James Taylor appeared and sang the song with her.  I so love this version.  The emotions it exude just watching them and how Carole was surprised when she saw her long-time friend emerged from the backstage.

When I watched the video for the first time, I was surprised too.  It blew me away.  How I’ve always wanted this song like forever that I even tried playing this in my guitar ‘struggles’ way back in high school.  For me, this song is one of my all-time favorites.   For a sappy lad like me, I lost track of how many times I’ve played this to give me support in times of distress.  I’ve always believed that out of the long-list of friends I have, there will be at least two or three who will be there when I call them out of nowhere for whatever reasons.  I am not sure if I am just pathetic right now, but as the lyrics go, ‘Close your eyes and think of me, soon I will be there to brighten up even your darkest night. You just call out my name and you know wherever I am, I’ll come running to see you again.  Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall, all you’ve got to do is call And I’ll be there, Yes, I will….You’ve got a friend.’  It is just amazing how can a friend assures you of ‘being there’ with just one call?

Lots of thoughts are just swirling in my head now.  See, for several months now, I’ve been struggling with self-preservation.  I am avoiding contacts almost from everyone and chose to just be with my Beastfriend.  I also decided to lessen the time spent online.  It was hard at first, but it helped me go back and read the books waiting for my time.  Well, I was able to finish three books in a span of two months and yes, I know, I still have to continue reading The Game of Thrones Book 2 wherein I am now on the 200^th page as of this writing.  Geesh!  I am still at 40% and hopefully, I can finish it before this month ends.  Yes, it is a struggle especially now that Netflix and the series supply from Sir Aris are non-stop.  Whew!  Well, I can say it has been an addiction.  I was able to finish seven series in the last three months.  Yeah, I know…what else can I do?  I was about to buy a set of cross stitch but good thing my cousin shared her password in Netflix. When I am alone at my place, I am confused whether to read, watch a movie or resume with the series.  Life is Good with a bit of competition, right?

Well, today is not a good day for me that I opted to write down whatever comes out from my head.  I can't seem to watch nor read.  I am sulking.  I am hugging a big pillow now while howling my heart out.  I don't know what else to jot down here but I just want to let these thoughts out through this Always-Be-Here-Song of JT!

Yes, it is piteous that I yearn for that one friend I’ve got who’s ready to sing this all-time favorite song of mine.  Just being by my side---right now.

For now, let James Taylor sing this for me instead.

Tidbits:  I hate being too emotional.

 

Lost Star

Loving this song a lot.

We sometimes feel lost...

Oh, Moon!

One of my 'calming' songs....just indulge, friends!

Tracks of Life

Music soothes my soul.  With each song that combines my mood of the day, it’s always a perfect feeling.

 

Whatever it is that bothers me, I made it a point that I indulge into a song.  Whether the song is old or new to my ears, but most of the time, it’s the old songs that relinquish the anonymity of what I feel.  It brings back most of my trying days as an individual.  It’s amazing how it transports me back in time where the innocence of my being is rekindled.  One of the examples would be like listening to Cupid by 211 and then I remember the good old days in advertising.  Yes, that time I was just a fresh graduate from college and the struggles I am trying to cope with the world of advertising.  There’s this Account Executive named Michelle whom I became close with.  We became close through her stories.  Her love in writing poems, late night coffee chats, beating deadlines for client presentations almost every week.  And we were always together.  Those were our glory days and I miss it a lot.

Fall For You by Shanice.  Each time I play this song especially on a rainy afternoon, it gives me the hope to fall in love again.  The sweetest days you feel when you’re in love.  The positive feeling that falling into someone brings re-assurance that celebrating life is indeed better.  Just like the lyrics of the song;  

I’ve been in love, a time or two

 I’ve seen the world when I’m with you,

I wanna fly and spread my wings,

I don’t wana cry, I wanna sing,

I wanna live and take a chance,  

I’m not afraid to love again,

I wanna fall, fall for you,

and I want you to fall for me too.

Unto the mountain snow that melts n the stream

My heart goes like a river to sea

To the heavens up above

I pray to God our destiny is love

Whew!  Isn’t it amazing falling in love?  I believe that being in love is different from falling in love.  Need I say more? Hehehe.  There are also songs like In a Rush by Blackstreet that I really like. It is soulful.  It’s like you are falling for someone and not realizing it and when it hit you, you’re already halfway to broken heart. Arrgh! Gees!

There is the song, Is There Something by Christopher Cross that is always in my playlist.  I automatically get sentimental each time I hear the first note of this classic song of broken hearts holding on too much and letting go inch by inch and somehow wanting to still fix the situation.

Is there something that you want to tell me

Is there something that I ought to know

Are we still something that still worth fighting for

Or should I simply let you go

Is there something I can do to reach you

Are we something more than history

I’ll find some way to convince you to stay

If you should tell me honestly

Is there something left of you and me

There are also Original Pilipino Music (OPM) songs that I also love.  One of them is Wag Ka ng Umiyak that was originally released by Sugarfree and last year, 2013, KZ Tandigan released an acoustic version that was part of a teleserye soundtrack.

Lost in Space by Lighthouse Family.   I remember that way back from college, one of my bestfriends gave me cassette tape of their album.  This song calms me and when I miss my college friends (and the college life), this song is a hit.  This became my theme song for my one great friend, Abi.  She’s a classmate in college and we really made a history in terms of friendship.  Each time I hear this song, it brings back great memories.  How I struggle in or friendship, almost every day we fight, we argue and because of those experiences for four years in college (and after college), our relationship is stronger through the years. Gosh, I recall keeping a diary and in those pages were our everyday fights. Hahaha. for four years, imagine that!

Ocean Drive by Lighthouse Family.  Another song from the same group that I always say, my ‘driving song’.  I just like the tempo of this song that would definitely enjoy my ‘driving’ because I am a sucker of long drives but most of the time or let’s say, all the time I am the passenger. Hihihi.

Misty Glass Window by Take One.  This is another OPM that keeps me gaga especially after I experienced how a “break up” feels real life.  Gosh, the words in this song that goes;

Rain falls; dark clouds are rising up above

I gaze in solitude, looking through a misty glass window

Cause there it used to be the two of us

This empty room, filled my thoughts with memories of you 

I turned and look around but found no sight of you

I guess it’ll never be as true, no, no.

My heart will always be with you

With a match of saxophone, who would have a thought a song like this crushes you even more.

One of These Days by Michelle Branch.  This song consumes me.  I don’t want to elaborate the emotions, just hear it yourself.

OO by Up Dharma Down.  Another OPM song that tackles about love in a drastic situation that left the girl in awe and all she can do is to reminisce and let the guy know that he can still make amends to the girl waiting in vain even if he doesn’t know that the girl is in love with him.  Yeah, more of an unreciprocated love.

Out of Reach by Gabrielle.  This is one of the songs from the movie, Bridget Jones’ Diary.  Song about the girl realizing that there might be no chance with the guy and with the question, “was I ever loved by you?”

Pag-ibig by APO Hiking Society.  An OPM song that tells a story of falling in love for the first time, experiencing how it was like to have your first sweet kiss, a tight hug and a forever love.  This is a feel-good song that expresses how one great love stays with you through the years or even a lifetime.

Pain In My Heart by Zoo.  A heart-wrenching OPM song.  Hurt lingers in this song.  Moving on is not really an option in this song.  The singer elaborates everything that was in their relationship and he doesn’t want to feel the pain and it happens each time he sings the songs.   

The lyrics:

I don’t want to remember the things we used to do

And all the things that remind me of you

I don’t want to hear those songs

The songs we used to sing

'Coz I don’t want to feel, the pain in my heart

I just can’t believe you’re gone….

There are tons of songs I still want to share, but it seems these are all enough to indulge in one day.  Well, right now, I just don't have an idea how to end this post.  Can I just play Far Away by Kevyn Lettau for now?

Cheers!

Season of Loneliness

Yes, i have to admit, I miss this song a lot. I just don't know how it soothes me when I needed to calm down.

Read this for reference because it isn't just an ordinary song.  This means a lot to me.  Whew!

Enjoy this with me, please.

Cheers.

4 Seasons of Loneliness
Written by Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis


Oh yeah oh oh oh


I long for the warmth of days gone by
When you were mine
But now those days are memories in time
Life's empty without you by my side
My heart belongs to you
No matter what I try
When I get the courage up to love somebody new
It always falls apart 'cause they just can't compare to you
Your love won't release me I'm bound under ball and chain
Reminiscing our love as I watch 4 seasons change


In comes the winter breeze
That chills the air and drifts the snow
And I imagine kissing you under the misteltoe
When springtime makes it's way here
Lilac blooms reminds me of the scent of your perfume
When summer burns with heat
I always get the hots for you
Go skinny dippin' in the ocean where we used to do
When autumn sheds the leaves the trees are bare
When you're not here it doesn't feel the same


Remember the nights when we close our eyes
And vowed that you and I would be in love for all time
Anytime I think about these things I shared with you
I break down and cry 'cause I get so emotional
Until you release me I'm bound under ball and chain
Reminiscing our love as I watch 4 seasons change


In comes the winter breeze
That chills the air and drifts the snow
And I imagine kissing you under the misteltoe
When springtime makes it's way here
Lilac blooms reminds me of the scent of your perfume
When summer burns with heat
I always get the hots for you
Go skinny dippin' in the ocean where we used to do
When autumn sheds the leaves the trees are bare
When you're not here it doesn't feel the same


This loneliness
Has crushed my heart
Please let me love again
'Cause I need your love to comfort me and ease my pain
Or 4 seasons will bring the loneliness again


In comes the winter breeze
That chills the air and drifts the snow
And I imagine kissing you under the mistletoe
When springtime makes it's way here
Lilac blooms reminds me of the scent of your perfume
When summer burns with heat
I always get the hots for you
Go skinny dippin' in the ocean where we used to do
When autumn sheds the leaves the trees are bare
When you're not here it doesn't feel the same

Remember the warmth of days gone by 

#HeartWrenchingIndeed

Define Me

How do you define maturity?

A soul told me, it is how you react in times or during a stressful situation.  As I checked in Google, I clicked Wikipedia and here’s the link.

So, I guess, that soul was right after all.  Okay, so, here’s the real thing why I am writing my thoughts about maturity.  All the words here are completely mine and I am the only person to blame just in case you reader/s won’t agree with me.  I am not asking you, dear reader/s to be mature enough in handling this, okay? Thank you.

Well, that night of discussion about ‘maturity’ made a mark in my brain.  And the manifestation, well, here it is.  I wanted so bad to argue and defend my side, but I know I won’t win.  Possible that I’ll have a chance to get even somehow, but I opted not to prolong the conversation (or argument).  Between the two of us, you could always give him the credit for always being so right.  To be frank, I am getting sick of it sometimes, I mean lately I can’t help but notice that our bantering keeps getting better and better and I opted to keep silent instead.  Read: I opted to be silent because I am learning the art of having an open mind, especially when I have those talks with him. 

In memory of a great author.  She lived a good life and touched lots of souls in this world.

Yes, he told me I haven’t matured.  He said it right after telling him a story about me being one of the players in the ‘patintero’ way back in grade school.  It was completely out of nowhere when he told me that.   What a blow in my face, right?  I was just mum about it, though I reacted a little because his basis was just between one of our colleagues and me.  And yes, it was unfair on my part because what he sees are only the fractions of who I am and what I want him to perceive about me.  Or something like that.

For sure he would ask, what is the purpose of writing these and defending myself in this blog…well, like what I told him before, I am not good in expressing my notions face to face, because I get so emotional and that distracts my thoughts all the time.  Okay, so what’s the point of this?  Maybe I just want to make a stand and let some people know that I am not that immature.  Yes, I want him to at least realize that I can manage myself and emotions in the most crucial times.

There are critical situations in a life of a person that other people may not know.  It is in desperate circumstances that a person manages to overcome that defines him/her.  The whole world may not witness it, but what matters is how you come through despite the external factors that continue to break you.  Our society may have a lot to say that could challenge your inner being, but what important is the core in you.  Those values that you instill and hold on to are very important during these unexpected conditions that confront you.  

Yeah, Right!

I realized through time, that yes, you measure the maturity of a person during those trying moments, but that should not just be the sole basis….you have to know the depth of that maturity a person holds.  There might be people who would say I am immature.  Well, okay then, that is your opinion or that is how you perceive me.  But who are you anyway to say that, wherein what you only see is the façade of who I am.  

I’ve been through a lot and the reason why I remain standing up to now is the grown-up person in me (it’s in me, somewhere, I swear!) who knows how to laugh in times of despair.  I am not perfect, but I know what perfection means.  I may not be confident enough to show my strength, but I know how to survive in this dog-eat-dog-world we have.  I may not be the right person to hold a conversation with because on some topics I am clueless, but I know what life means and how to live it one day at a time.  I may not be the ideal friend to have, but I surely know how to keep one.  

And when I decide to befriend someone, I’ll make sure our friendship survives hopefully for a lifetime.

SUDDEN THROWBACK

A mood meter is not necessary right now.  Just listening to this song, you'll know what mood I am into.

 

Shoot The Moon

Norah Jones

The summer days are gone too soon
You shoot the moon
And miss completely
And now you're left to face the gloom
The empty room that once smelled sweetly
Of all the flowers you plucked if only
You knew the reason
Why you had to each be lonely
Was it just the season?

Now the fall is here again
You can't begin to give in
It's all over

When the snows come rolling through
You're rolling too with some new lover
Will you think of times you've told me
That you knew the reason
Why we had to each be lonely
It was just the season


I just hope that this is just a season....